Mizu Mizu no Mi (Insert)
by M4ttintheH4t
Summary: Keep your eyes sharp. Trust NO ONE. You are an assassin, known by few. Those who do know you fear The Shadow. You don't take sides. You don't care for people that much. The World Gov't has hired you to kill Roronoa Zoro, making it look like an accident, and break up the Straw Hats before they rise to power. If you do, the Gov't will never bother you again. Easy... or so you think.
1. Ch 1- Where the Money Takes Me

_*For clarification, this takes place after Skypia. CP9 doesn't know where Robin is yet.*_

The cold bite of winter blows through the open window in the hotel bathroom. You deftly lift yourself four floors up with a watery rope made of your arm. Checking the small room to find no one in it, you lower your hood and look in the mirror. Your light blonde hair dangled from an uneven center part, covering your ears and hiding most of your glasses. The world around you is clear enough without them, but as an assassin working for anyone who could afford it, you had to be on the lookout at all times.

 _Damn,_ you thought to yourself. _T_ _hat strap that keeps my glasses on is making them cut into my nose. Better stash it in my jacket._ Seeing specks in your vision, you wiped the lenses clean with a kerchief. Looking down, the emblem on your coat glowed brightly, despite years of losing color.

 _My old crew's Jolly Roger: a skull on the page of an open book and an F on the other page, in front of traditional crossbones._ The Felix Pirates named for your own Captain Felix was the only parent or friend you ever had. The book represents his quest for knowledge but... those days were over. You wear this dark navy blue co-captain coat where ever you go. Thinking of what had been, you felt the ragged edges of what had been long sleeves, now cut short.

 _Now isn't the time to get all teary-eyed. Those monkeys from the World Government are waiting for me to get her.  
_  
In a particular room on this small remote island is where you will meet with a handful of World Government officials, namely the head of CP9 and Admiral Kizaru. You had met with Kizaru a few times before, and he seemed like the most cool-headed of government officials. Relatively.

 _I hate these guys, but I've worked for less than the 50,000 berries they're offering for this_. They didn't tell you anything else, but you deducted it must fall under "matters of internal security," perhaps even the very hush-hush ordeal of Dragon, the revolutionary. _Just as long as they aren't trying to recruit me again. Everyone that has got home with a sore neck. With the true power of the Wet Wet fruit, my lethal waterman body can become any weapon I want._ Your favored weapon, a whip made of water often had this effect on people who tried to coerce you into taking a side. You trust no one but yourself. _Being on a side just makes people think I owe them something. Money. Favors. Loyalty... Bah. These are concepts I want nothing to do with; I just go where the money takes me.  
_  
You put on your angles glasses, adjusting them with one finger to look yourself in the mirror.  
 _Keep your eyes sharp.  
Trust no one.  
_  
You extended a watery finger into the courtesy lamp on the wall and snuffed out the flame. Your boots spoke soft, silent steps in the stone hallway.  
 _Room 412, room 410, room 408... Room 407 on the left._ 407 on the right was an actual hotel room. Below the old sign for 407, a paper tacked on reading "Closed for renovations." _Judging by the age of the paper, this room wasn't changing anytime soon._ You rapped your fist on the door, three times, then two and then four.

A marine opened the door a crack and peeked at me.  
You shot him an intimidating glare, only half trying. His blood ran cold, and his knees knocked together as he hastily opened the door for you, saluting.

"At ease... knucklehead." The man tripped over himself closing the door; the guard shook even harder at your harsh whisper.

"Hey! Where do YOU get off telling MY men what to do!" An outraged man with a leather framed face and crazy lavender hair screamed at you from behind a dusty desk. A single lamp stood on it, bathing the room in flickering yellow firelight. Leaning against the edge of the window behind the desk slouched the admiral. His white marine coat and yellow striped suit glowed in the dark corner of the room. _A fellow logia type, a light man. He's probably here to protect this foolish man._

The yelling moron shushed an imaginary someone to his left.  
"QUIET you, we are TRYING to have a SECRET MEETING! Oh, I'm the one yelling." You raised an eyebrow.  
"Kizaru... Is your friend here quite sane?" The older man chuckled from the corner.  
"Oooh, he's just an excitable fellow. Doooon't worry about it." His laid-back manner pulled at a corner of your mouth.  
"Hey, don't talk about me like I'm not here!" Shouted the red-faced man, jumping to his feet. Kizaru stroked his chin.  
"You knooooow, as far as anyone is concerned, we're _not_ here, Spandam."  
"What? Of course we are-"  
"He means you should yell quieter," you interjected.  
"Shut up! You're not my boss-"  
"Oooh, but I am, you see," Kizaru said, giving Spandam a stern look.  
"YE- ahem, yes sir..." Spandam sat down, defeated.

"Kizaru," you grumbled, crossing your arms, "This is entertaining, but it's not getting me paid."  
"Ooooh, right, (Name). There is some good news to that effect, you see. Are you familiar with Roronoa Zoroooo?" Kizaru's drawn out words had some ulterior motive, but you couldn't put your finger on it just yet. Either way, Zoro was worth big money, his bounty is 60,000,000 berries.

"Yes, the Pirate Hunter. Strikes fear into the hearts of men with just a look and whatnot," you stated flatly.

"Weeeell, perhaps you also heard he joined the Straw Hat Pirates not long ago." _And I was just starting to like you, Admiral. I don't like where this is going at all._

"I'm not a bounty hunter; I'm above their loop. What is it that you want?" Spandam answered my question with his smug, creepy voice. You wanted to punch him more and more with every annoying word. He could be telling you that you won the lottery, and you would still lash out with your whip at the very least.

"We need you to make Roranora Zoro... Disappear." Spandam chuckled maniacally. "He is the Straw Hats most valuable asset, their strongest fighter besides Monkey D Luffy himself. Without Roronoa Zoro, their rise to power will be cut short before it begins. If the military were to kill him personally, the Straw Hats could take vengeance on the World Government, a situation we'd like to avoid if we can." You laughed, a rare sight for anyone to see. Spandam and his guard shook in their boots, even the Admiral looked fairly disturbed.

"Oooh, scary..." remarked Kizaru.  
"These pirates have you pretty worried don't they?"

"Myyy... superiors are concerned, yes." You eyed Spandam, wanting to make him cringe. "From what I know about them, your little base on Impel Down might not be much of a challenge."

"Im-Impossible!" shrieked Spandam. He pounded the desk with his leather wrapped fist. The Admiral massaged his temple  
"You seeeee, we need your discretion your reputation promises," said the Admiral, getting 'exciteable Spandam' back on track.

"Right!" Spandam's malicious grin returned as he formed a triangle with his hands, elbows on the desk. _No wonder they keep him around for CP9._ He continued, "If the Straw Hats believe Zoro's death to be an accident, they may blame themselves and lose their momentum, maybe even disband!"

"So if I do this, I will be paid for his bounty instead of the 50,000?" Kizaru chuckled at your candor.

"Oh no, In addition to." I gave him a look of dissatisfaction. _Maybe I can finally get a favor from my friends here...  
_  
"Money is great, but this is a special job. You want me to break the bond of a pirate crew... A very personal job." The admiral and Spandam grimaced, looking at each other.

"Oooh, what it that you want?" asked Kizaru. You smiled. Another rare sight.

"I want you to get rid of my bounty. If I do this for you, I don't want the World Government on my back anymore. Especially if you have me taking care of your pirate problems to please the Elder Stars." Kizaru stroked his chin, cogitating, when suddenly, Spandam had another outburst.

"You insolent brat! YOU do what WE pay YOU TO DO! You can't make outrageous demands like this! Some assassin you are, you don't even have any weapons! How are you going to do anything worth half the money we pay-" His words were cut short by a throwing knife made of water thwacking into the desk between his elbows. The suspended water(Wet Wet Knife) shimmered in the light of the lantern. You twiddled your fingers on your throwing hand as the one that became the knife grew back in a wave of blue. You smirked at the leather-faced hothead, hoping he would give you just one reason.

"DID YOU SEE WHAT HE DID! HE TRIED TO KILL ME!" You could take Spandams incessant shrieking no longer. Everything past your elbow formed into your Wet Wet Whip, your arm turning blue with white wave shapes as it grew. You flung your arm precisely sideways and it wrapped around his throat with minimal effort. You lifted him off the floor, sputtering and choking.

"Listen here, Spandam. I can make my body into any weapon I want. Logia types use their powers the same way around the world, but I have an upper hand. The real power of the Wet Wet Fruit is Tension, the force that gives water all of its unique properties. The same force that can rip ships to pieces can be refined to form stealthy weapons that allow me to kill anyone without a sound and without physical evidence. I am the one assassin that can laugh at forensic science, and I only take orders when I get money. I am NOT one of your mindless marine dogs! And if you're wondering why I'm not yelling at you because, yes, I am LIVID, that's because I don't want to blow our cover!" The struggling man in your hand/whip was quickly turning an ill shade of blue. The admiral slouched against the window and raised one hand. A bright light like a star twinkled and twirled: a light attack powering up.

"Ooo, you have made your point, (Name). Put him down, now." _The admiral is very powerful, he won't hesitate to protect his subordinate. The guard even has his gun pointed at me.  
_  
"Only because I like you... Admiral." You released Spandam's neck and he slumped in his chair, gasping hoarsely at the air like he was reclaiming his soul. Kizaru lowered his hand and the light faded back to the flickering lamplight. You crossed your arms across your chest. A bitter wind blew through the window next to the Admiral.

"You've... never called me that before," he said over the sounds of Spandam recovering.  
"It was a one-time thing, Kizaru," you taunted, pushing your glasses up the bridge of your nose. "So... so we have a deal?"

"Oooh, okay. I will cancel your bounty when Roronoa Zoro is killed in an unfortunate accident. You will get the 60,050,000 after his death is confirmed." You smiled at the admiral, disturbing him once more. You pulled your hood up.

"Excellent. We were never here." You strode towards the door. _Ah, this poor marine is still terrified. What's a good cherry to top this with?_ You stopped, waiting for the marine to check the corridor and open the door. All the man could manage was a nod.

You winked at him and strode off down the hallway, feeling your coat swish around your legs. There was a thud like a body hitting the floor. _That marine must've fainted!_ Far off you could hear Kizaru.

"Ooooi, are you okay?"  
You threw a wave of water at the bathroom door. It slammed open, crunching a little. You jumped up on the ledge, scanned the alley below and jumped.  
 _I love my job._


	2. Ch 2- Back Home

_The pigs are the snootiest_

 _The owls are the hootiest_

 _The plants the fruitiest_

 _Stars the shootiest_

 _The grins the funniest_

 _The smiles the sunniest_

 _Way back home_

On the island you called home, it was almost always raining. If one didn't leave your house with an umbrella, you brought upon yourself many strange looks. People might think you don't care about your clothes. That was their own fault. Everyone in the city dressed up nice just to get their mail. All the clean establishments have a dress code, some of them including umbrellas as a freaking necessity: a statement of wealth.

You have never owned an umbrella in your life on Noir Island.

And as a Waterman, why would you need it? Your very own element falling from the sky made you feel powerful. If you had a good reason, you could weaponize even a single raindrop. It was all under your control.

That fact puts you on your guard. Any feeling of advantage was something to exploit, not that you trusted a thing anyone said anyway. As your boots splashed down the dark sidewalks, your eyes darted around and you recited the motto that kept you alive.

 _Keep your eyes sharp._ You adjusted your rain-speckled glasses, the single motion absorbing the obstructions.  
 _Trust NO ONE._

It's not far now. Your current target is just down the street. This part of Marloweville housed the not-so-fortunate. Streetlamps were left forgotten by city maintenance on purpose, giving the nighttime scene an even dingier look. Uptown, the lofty clock tower rang out the tenth hour of the evening. From this far away, the bells haunted the fog with a ghostly gong.

A figure in a long coat passed you by, collar up to his eyes. He lowered the brim of his hat, not in greeting, but to further conceal his face. An icy silver stare glared from his darting eyes. Anyone else would've been scared of the man, but you stared right back as he padded through puddles. He looked past you, muttering about his friends getting lost. You weren't the one he was searching for. He took a left down a street leading out of town, a street leading to the swamp where your house is... The man looked lost as he strode out of sight.

Huh. Suspicious, but not enough to worry about. Besides, tourists always stick out. That man stuck out like a sore thumb. Trying to match the way people dress around here never worked. You should know; you've tried once or twice.

 _Ah, here it is._ A sign hanging from squeaking chains read "Bannon's Cannons." The obvious, catchy names in this town drive you crazy. Shame there won't be any killing or manipulation this time, just a send-a-message job for Vito. He remains your best source of intel for new targets, but he never accepts payment in cash. A big believer in the worth of actions.

You walked on top of the puddles in the alley, summoning the tension to silence your approach around the back. The mud-filled alley leads to the workshop behind the store, where the only lights were on. Strange that sounds of metalworking could not be heard.

This could be a trap.

Your body became water. You quietly sloshed through the air to hide by a glowing, cracked window.  
A crack is all water needs. Your aquatic body dripped through the crack, puddling on the floor.  
Bannon was working at his desk, back facing you. Surrounded only by his cannons, he is alone.

You wrapped a flowing hand around his mouth, preventing his scream. He struggled and clutched at your watery fingers, but his own passed right through.

You towered behind him, adjusting your glasses as they turned solid once more. They never settle properly after you change form.  
"Father Capone was very displeased with his cannons, Bannon." _Dammit, this town is rubbing off on me._ "Keep it down and I'll let you explain before I carry out my orders." He nodded in your grasp, shaking like a leaf. Releasing him he turned is his chair to face you.

"I'll do anything you say," uttered Bannon frantically. "Just don't... not here... my wife, my kid-"  
"Will be very, very sad unless you get on with it." You laced your voice with mock indignation. "I'm not _merciless,_ merely impatient." You clicked your nails against each other, making him shudder in his seat. Bannon gulped before answering.

"The Iceboat Gang paid big to get an upper hand, more than anyone downtown gets for a cannon job!"  
"Quiet," you taunted, lazily flipping a WetWet Knife into a family picture hanging on the wall. The man soiled himself.  
"Please..." he pleaded, "I'll give Capone a refund and! And... I'll boycott the Iceboats! I'm a Firetank business from now on!"  
"You always were, Bannon. They just wanted me to remind you how Father Capone feels when someone disrespects him like this."  
"Of course, you're right! You're right...! Oh... what are you going to do to me...?"  
"Nothing I wasn't paid to do..." A pair of knives stabbed the photo, one in an eye of a young girl, and the other in the eye of the woman under Bannon's arm. Lightning flashed outside at the same delightful moment. _If the man wasn't such a wuss, I'm sure he would've wet himself seeing that. I didn't even try that hard..._

 __"Lucky for you, this is a kind, verbal warning from the supreme crime lord around here. He's on his way to becoming a pirate, ya know."  
You patted the man on the shoulder as he sunk into his chair.  
"Thank you kind sir, thank you-" Another knife found itself inches from his soiled crotch.  
"Didn't I say to be quiet? I'm doing what I was paid to do. You never saw me."  
Your body became water again. Your liquid form bounded out the door, flying into the air and bouncing off raindrops.  
Next stop? Uptown, to meet Vito at the Croony Moony. Excellent bar. Stupid name.


	3. Ch 3- Croony Moony's

"Welcome to Croony Moony, the finest club and restaurant in Marloweville! Step right in ma'am, may I take your umbrella and coat?" The woman flashed a million berry smile at the prim and proper doorman. His spotless red vest matched the colorful interior enough to make one squint. Cigar smoke drifted out the open door. You stood outside in the pattering rain. A cartoon moon in a slinky dress winked at you from the sign over the entrance. This woman is the fourth in line laying it on thick with the ignorant doorman.

"Why, thank you kind sir." She slipped off her dripping coat casually, captivating the unprofessional ogling of the doorman. Arms crossed themselves over your chest. Your finger beat itself against your arm.

 _This is taking forever; the line was full of chicks like this. I don't even mind standing in the rain, and I'm annoyed! Vito's been waiting for fifteen minutes now._ The woman playfully adjusted her stocking in front of him, making his eyes pop. Her dress hardly made it to her mid-thigh. She hardly had to pull it up.

"Lady, he likes you. Get a move on!" The doorman snapped his head over to notice you were there. The woman eyes swelled with reproach. She pursed her lips at you, thinking it might get you to apologize or some other fool thing. You only glared at the bimbo. She strutted off in a huff.

"Sir, I-" So many people respond to your appearance with a frightened gulp. It was getting old by now. You are infamous except as 'that weirdo that lives in the swamp' or, in this city, as 'the guy without an umbrella.' Those who did know of you called you The Shadow and knew that you would do anything for anyone if they had the berries. The Shadow is the one you need if no one needs to know about it; a professional assassin at the age of twenty with loyalty to no one but yourself.

"I-I am so sorry, may I take your umbrella?" You stared at him, withholding murderous rage behind a blink.  
"Are you blind to everything but desperate women?" He looked lost, his mind on another island, with no clue what you were saying. You waved your open hands in front of him. "I don't have an umbrella!" _Dumbass perv._ The doorman stood there, clueless.

"Oh... Uh, may I take your coat-"  
"Hell, no. My friend is waiting for me, under the name of _the Capone_ family?" Somewhere in the doorman's empty head, a dim light bulb appeared.  
"Of course, sir!" He spluttered quickly. Everyone on Noir Island knows better than to mess with the Capone family, otherwise known as the Firetank Gang. They owned more than half the island, including most of the swamp you live in.

"Your friend is seated in the third booth from the back, on the left!" _That might be the first helpful thing he's done..._  
"What happened to Carl? He remembers me, he just lets me right in." _I actually like Carl, he knows better. And he doesn't make a big deal about my never having an umbrella.  
_ "Out with a cold, sir," stammered the doorman. You fix your collar and push your glasses into place. You don't want to look at that fool anymore.  
"Send him my best." Had that whole ordeal not happened, the new guy might wonder why your coat is completely dry. Only a Waterman can walk into a building on this island and be completely dry.

Inside, three levels of candlelit tables surrounded a stage. A band in stark white suits poured out their souls into instruments as the demure singer sang softly into the Den Den Mushi microphone. A snail at the foot of the pole wore a matching sequined dress and makeup. _The faces the Den Den Mushi make here are the funniest things I had ever seen. A seductress snail... Fantastic._ A few of the people quietly chatting and drinking must've caught sight of your smile. Somewhere in the crowd, two rich folks made a sound like their drink decided to go the wrong way. Not that you had any control over that... Your smile is as sharp as a sword. Only half as lethal.

Off to the left sat a dining area(boasting the best steaks in town) and a larger portion of the bar. Vito always picked this side for that very reason; he's a big drinker. The man is a six-foot bottle of sake, half full of it. As a member of the Capone family, he also got the best seat in the house: right in front of the singer. Close enough to see the holes in her hose, the sparkle of each sequin. The boisterous gangster also had the privilege of wearing his fedora inside without reproach. He turned and flashed a toothy grin at you, two gold teeth as big as playing cards shining brightly like a glossy pair of aces.

"Hey dere, (Name)!" Vito boomed. "What's da news?"  
"You're more drunk than usual, Vito," you observed.  
"Wid a good reason bub! I've finally got a pro doin' my dirty work." The man slapped his hand on my shoulder. You used to ask him to stop, but he never remembers. Vito is good at what he does, he just lacks a sense of discretion or composure about being the son of a crime lord. As you sat, you saw the nearly full sake bottle in his hand. An empty one sat at the table, fearing Vito's wild gesticulations would smash it to the floor.

"Ya took forever, mack! What kept you?" His flushed, smiling face is rarely not so. You could only take being around him in small doses of his never-ending cheeriness. The stink of alcohol is the easy part to deal with.

"The doorman is some new guy, and I was behind a bunch of dames. By dames, I mean bimbos." Vito just guffawed and took another swig of sake. "He's not even that good looking, but they were all giving him a show! The job didn't take half as long," you growled. Vito lowered his voice for an earnest moment.

"Now about da job... Ya didn't hurt him dijya?"  
"You asked me not to,' you stated calmly. "My only victim was a pair of pants." Vito looked at you, confused. You tried to hold back a smile that might scare your current client, but you can't resist. "I scared the shit out of the poor guy." The drunkard before you chuckled nervously.

"Well, as long as you reminded him who he belongs to." Vito took another sip of his liquid courage.

"He's giving you a full reimbursement on your ships cannons, no worries," you assured coldly. "So, what did you find out about the whereabout of the Straw Hat pirates?" Vito lowered his bottle and opened up a briefcase he had on the seat next to him. He handed you a few photographs, the first one of a boat falling from the sky. Weird, but it's been known to happen around here. The funny part is that they're not skeletons on a rotting ship.

"Dose Straw Hats were most recently seen by our boys on dere ship... falling outta da clouds wid an octopus balloon to keep em from smashin' into da ocean!" you were dubious at first, but sure enough, the next photograph contained the huge octopus and the dot that was their flying boat.

"Where were these taken, Vito?"  
"Between here and dat Marine base, G-8." The next photo showed their boat, a smiling goat's head adorning the front and someone with a straw hat sitting on top of it. You pointed at it.

"Is that...?"  
"Monkey D. Luffy. 100,000,000 berry bounty. Zoro's and da rest o' da Straw Hats' captain. Funny how you two are part o' da 'Worst Generation', but your bounty isn't even half of his, just 36,000,000 berries," Vito chuckled. You gave him a look and he checked himself.

"My bounty would be five times his if I paraded around like pirates do, possibly more if I wasn't sanctioned by a Warlord of the Sea from time to time." Vito was at a loss for words, tugging at his collar.

"You mean to say... You've been hired by da World Government?" You just barely nodded.

"But I never said so. Anyhow, where are the Straw Hats now?"

"Uh, they were headed further down the Grand Line last we saw. Long Long Island, Victorian Island, only their log pose knows-" he was interrupted by a commotion at the front door.

"Where's the meat? The sign says you guys have the best meat!"  
"Whassa matta wid dat guy?" slurred Vito as he got up. The crooner sang louder, trying to get the enjoyment of the evening back, but everyone was craning their necks to look at the noise. You could just make out the doorman pleading over the club patrons expressing polite outrage.

"Sir we have a dress code here, I'm going to have to ask you to button up your suit-"  
"I'm going to be _KING of the pirates!_ I want the best meat in the city!"

Bonk! A young orange-haired woman looming behind the yelling boy had pummeled him with her fist.  
"Luffy, just shut up so they let us in!" Like a flip of a switch, she pouted at the doorman, speaking sweetly. "I'm so sorry about that sir, my friend here got a little drunk earlier and he's a big pain to begin with..."

"Stop lying, Nami! I'm not drunk!" shouted Luffy.  
"He always says that when he's drunk. You know how it is," winked Nami.

"No problem ma'am, we get that every now and then," replied the doorman far too eagerly. "Welcome to Croony Moony! May I take your umbrellas?" The group with her had already pushed passed him, but an average looking guy(among them, he's the only one wearing a suit that fits and he's the only one smoking) with blonde hair waved to him.

"No need! We have none, thank you, sir." The doorman looked lost once again, unsure of what to do with people that acted like me. A dark haired woman in the group looked all around as they found a larger table for themselves.

"How interesting. It seems that this whole island has adopted the culture of detective novels. You fit in very well, Sanji-kun." The blonde man zipped over to pull out a chair for the woman, his eye under a curly eyebrow turning into a heart.

"Thank you, Robin-swan!" he exclaimed. The man then puffed his cigarette and returned to his reserved demeanor. "I hope the sign was right, the king of the pirates might empty their kitchen if he isn't satisfied. At least it won't be my kitchen." He then rushed over to pull out the chair for the other girl. "Allow me, Nami-swan!"

You tapped into your keen powers of perception and gazed at the next photo, taken from a spy bird. The Straw Hats, going about their business on the deck of their boat. The captain, Luffy, once again sitting on the goat head. Nami, orange hair shining as she adjusted the sail. Robin relaxed with a book while... a third hand stirred her tea, sprouting from the table it sat on. That must be the Flower Flower Fruit; you read about it some time ago. The blonde man, Sanji, offering a platter of snacks to Robin. A small creature, some kind of raccoon dog with antlers sprouting out of a large pink hat at next to a skinny teen in overalls, the two of them fishing together.

You looked up to the rowdy group of pirates continuing to disrupt everyone's evening(which entertained you to no end). _There's the long-nosed fellow, but the only one here I don't see at the table is that raccoon dog..._ The long-nosed guy was chatting with a mysterious beast of a man sitting next to him.

"...and then, the great Captain Usopp commanded his crew to reel in the Kraken! 'It is time for breakfast!' I told them all, and that was the day I had the best sushi!" _Ah, so the lying fisherman is Usopp. That huge guy believes every word, what kind of fool is he? I can tell the fisherman is lying from twenty feet away!_

"Wow, Usopp! How did it taste?" asked the immense fellow with the voice of a young teen. For someone so large, he sounds almost like a child.  
"Well, Chopper, uh... It tasted like... victory!" stuttered Usopp.  
"Keep it down, you two!" Nami urged, barely audible. "You'll get us kicked out!" _Dammit, now I can't hear them.  
_  
 _So, the beast man's name is Chopper..._ You then noticed Chopper wore a hat just like the raccoon dog's, pink with antlers. They both also sport a bright blue nose... _Chopper is a Zoan type! Also a reindeer... I thought the antlers were part of the hat._ No devil fruit you know would give someone a blue reindeer nose, so he must be an actual reindeer that ate a... Human Human Fruit. _That's a new one. No human would ever know about it, they would think it was a dud. That book about 'useless' devil fruits might have some more to say about it._ You looked for the seventh one, the swordsman you were hired to take care of. There he is in the photo, dozing at the foot of the mast, but you couldn't see a sign of the green-haired menace at the table.

The last photo in the stack was a picture seen on many bulletin boards across the world. You recognize it as the image used in all of his Wanted posters, usually framed by the words "Pirate Hunter, Roronoa Zoro. WANTED, Dead or Alive." This must be a copy of the original, the quality was much better than you've ever seen. His angular face was dripping with blood, his steely gaze almost intimidating. This is the one man that might be more unforgivably ruthless than you. Something about that look resounded in your memory, youve seen it before, in person. Up close, but in passing... Until you remember, you have nowhere to look. Except here.

"What a bunch o' weirdos," muttered Vito, taking his seat and a swig of sake. "Pirates... whatcha gonna do. I'm glad Father is gonna bring some class to da seas. Anyway, (Name), those Straw Hats could be anywhere by now."

"I think I have a clue about where they might be," you stated.

"Where?" You showed him the photo of them.

"Great, we know dey're on da Grand Line." Your palm and your face met to discuss your frustration.

"Vito, don't tell me just because those guys are dressed up that you don't recognize them."

"Who?"  
"The pirates at the table! Those are the Straw Hats!" Vito was dumbfounded. He peered back at them, then at the photo while you rolled your eyes.

"Oh, yeah." _THIS is why I talk to Dragon's friends to get information. Vito is consistently more wasted than helpful._ You stared at the empty sake bottle, thinking of a plan while the brain of your pal from the Capone family caught up to the situation.

"Hey, where's dat Zoro guy?" he asked suddenly. You point a finger at him.

"You owe me the answer to that very question," you accused.

"Dose pictures are all we knew before now! Whaddaya want me to do?" You smiled, sending shivers down Vito's spine.

"First, finish that bottle so you get the temptation to have more out of your system." He downed the remainder in a single gulp.

"No prob'm mack. What else?" _It's nice having other people do what I say for a change, I need to have more people owe me things._

"Bear with me Vito, 'cause this is a little crazy."

"That's okay, so am I!" Vito guffawed at his own joke. You blinked and politely waited. "Sorry, (Name), I'm listening." You flash a curt smile.

"I need you to chat Luffy up. Welcome the Straw Hats to Marloweville and the island. After you've dispensed all the niceties you can think of, take us outside. Meanwhile... I will be in this bottle, listening in. The crew is sure to discuss their missing crew member. If they don't, I'll vibrate the bottle, and you need to ask them about Zoro, very subtly. Can you do that?"

"Sure, (Name)." Your belief in him is dubious at best, but he's all you have to work with. And you found out the hard way a long time ago that yes, a room full of people will notice a moving puddle. The rich people here will ask someone to mop you up before you trip someone.

"And Vito?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Please. Don't drink me," you urged.

"Right, of course not." You glared at his flippant expression, as you set the empty bottle under the table.

"Just imagine that the bottle is full of acid."  
"Alright, alright! Wait, how are you gonna hear without ears?" You shrugged at him.

"Dunno, I just can. But I still can't swim." You made sure no one was watching, peering lastly at the crooner and ducked under the table. You stick your watery thumb in the bottle, hardly distinguishable from the water form you are becoming. Soon you filled the bottle up to the neck to deter questions. _Ugh, even as water, this makes me feel claustrophobic. At least I don't get motion sickness._

Vito snatched up the bottle, looking oddly at it before swaggering and staggering to the Straw Hats' table. The waiter had just dropped off the food, and they are all digging in except for the polite Sanji. The waiter was trying so hard to be kind while their captain inhaled multiple steaks.

"If you pir- people... need anything else, just let me know."  
"Thank you for the meal, Richard," Said Sanji to the bowing waiter.

"Mmeah, ffanks, Richy," mumbled Luffy, although you could hardly tell that's what he said. The waiter politely nodded and smiled at him before striding away at top speed. Vito waltzed up to Luffy, who is tackling a tower of steaks. He swung the bottle carelessly at his side, swishing you around.

"Hey dere, my name is Vito Capone. A big welcome to Marloweville from da Capone family! " The group looked at each other, uncertain of this random greeting from a total stranger.

"Who's that?" mumbled Luffy. Vito was confounded, having never heard that phrase before on his own island.

"Oh, we're a group of businessman, like yourselves," he hinted. Luffy had swallowed before he inquired, "You mean pirates?"

"Not quite, The Firetank Gang is on its way there, but we're more da homebody type y'see. This beautiful club, most of the best places uptown are protected by my... associates. As the son of Father Capone, I hope we can agree to keep it that way." The two buffoons looked at each other blankly, unsure of what to say or lacking any more words to say. That last bit was the most eloquent thing you've heard Vito say. The rest of the table sat watching and eating. All of them look worn out. Braving and surviving the White Sea must've been hell.

"Sure, we just came here to eat and relax," stated Luffy.

"Dat's great... uh, enjoy. Oh and watch out for da Iceboat Gang, dey're our rivals. Dey are no good, mack. Stay clear o' dem." _Dammit, this isn't working at all, he'll just have to ask._ You flexed the tension in your liquid form, vibrating the bottle.

"Oh! I, I uh, almost forgot! Aren't dere, uh, more o' yas?" stammered Vito. _I swear gorillas have more tact...  
_ The captain of the Strawhats responded with a hearty "Shishishi!" of laughter.

"Yep but Zoro got lost again!" The boy continued to laugh as he ate. The crew cast knowing looks at each other, giggling. "He's gonna be the best swordsman in the world, but he get's lost whenever he goes anywhere alone!"

"I'm very sorry bout dat, uh... If ya want, I can talk to da boys and have 'em keep an eye peeled for him," offered the 'businessman. The captain beamed a smile at him.

"You're a nice guy Vito! Thanks!"

...ooo00WFW00ooo...

Outside the club in an alley between it and a corner store, Vito poured you onto the ground. You turned into a pillar and solidified, rain dotting your dry coat as it fell. You adjusted your glasses and cast a burning scowl at the ground.

"Great, he could be anywhere on the island," you fumed, pacing the sidewalk. The sign for Croony cast glowing reflections on Vito's wet face.

"Hey, at least we know he's here," offered Vito. "All ya gotta do is find him!" You glared at him.

"You and your boys have fun with that, I'm gonna rest up in case you don't find him by morning. Night, Vito." You were so annoyed you jumped into the air and returned to your water form, bouncing off raindrops right above the street. Luckily no one saw you except a defeated drunk gangster.

...ooo00WFW00ooo...

Familiar trees parted the gloom of the swamp, trees that border a small path in the middle of nowhere leading up to your house. You splashed down onto the path and continued on foot. A single light on your porch shone through the gloom, the only sign of life or residence for miles around. Rain pattered through the canopy of tall oak trees covered in moss and vines. Your boots crunched the gravel in rhythm. You tried not to think about the whereabouts of Zoro, all it did was infuriate you. This one last job... This final big job and you could take a break, searching for knowledge. The small abode ahead is well-furnished, but meager in size. The biggest room is dominated with bookcases, chests full of old maps. The kinds of things your old Captain Felix used to horde and gather from every bit of the grand line. All the money you earned, the hundreds, the thousands of berries... Almost all of it resided in the safes of bookshops containing rarer volumes about treasure, the One Piece, and most importantly, Devil Fruits. Your library is likely the best collection of knowledge in the realm of Devil Fruits since Ohara was burned. By carrying on his dream and yours, you honored the memory of Captain Felix.

Reaching your house, you notice a man dozing in your porch chair. He wore a long coat with the collar pulled up. A fedora lie pulled over his eyes, and three katanas sat in his lap. Before you could yell at him, he flipped up his hat and called out to you. His hat had been hiding bright green hair and an angular face with an unmistakable steely gaze.

"Oi, is this your house?"  
"Yes, what of it?"

"Some big guys in blue suits went in earlier, claiming this was their house," said the former pirate hunter. "They didn't let me in, but said I could stay on the porch."

The Iceboat Gang. They're after my books again. You pushed your glasses in place.

"They aren't leaving my house alive," you informed him. Your forearm shaped into your Wet Wet Whip, coiling like churning waves in front of you. Zoro smirked, straightened his hat and put the white handle of a katana in his mouth.

"That's all I need to know," grumbled Roronoa Zoro. "Come on, I'll help you take care of them."


End file.
